How to make a Lion go Woof!

Now before we start, I'd just like to appolgise for the random and rambling nature of this blog post. There, now no-one can feel guilty as you have been warned..

Whilst idly sitting drunk in front of my TV the other night, I saw a listing for a show that I was sure would be an excellent all round family experience. Eagerly I tuned in, but was disappointed to find that my whisky be-fuddled eyes had tricked me and I had misread Wildlife on One as Wildlife on Fire (damn my drunken TV Watching).

Now, far be it for me to encourage the populace to set light to members of the Animal Kingdom, but what could possibly be better than seeing a flammable Lion hunting down a petrol soaked Zebra? The inevitable explosion / beast inferno would surely have been the tele-visual highlight of the year and at least 10 billion times better than watching the X Factor. Seriously, Danni Minogue? Sheryl Cole? Musical Experts? It seems all you need to do is go armed with a story that your mother/sibling/spouse/dog has just died, sing in that faux-wibbly Mariah Carey way, and hey presto you’re a star. Of course you also have to state that being famous and rich has also been your lifetime ambition and that if you don’t beat the 7 or 8 million people in this freak show you’ll be a loser for the rest of your life. Well guess what, you have no need to beat 7 or 8 million people, you’re a sad twat already. Good luck with that.

Personally I think we could mix my Wildlife on Fire show with The X Factor and produce something really interesting… Simply douse the contestants in petrol, strap a hundred lit candles to a hungry lion, place them in Danni MInogue’s skull (or any other large empty space) and roll the cameras. Hey presto, instant TV show! This principle can also be attached to Strictly Come Dancing – just substitute Danni Minogue’s skull for a ballroom and make sure the lion is wearing sequins.

But, why oh why are blathering on about such things Oh Mr. Bomb Culture person? Well, I’m glad I asked, as apart from the soon-to-be-announced line-up for the 2nd MINT @ MEZE (Coming real soon…With a real cracker of a headliner..) , Bomb Culture are stuck in the limbo land of ‘Some Fucker nicked our Equipments-ville’. This of course means that we’ve had to put the whole recording/ jamming thang on hiatus whilst we light our torches and hunt down the thieving bastards , or failing that just glumly buy more guitars…Grrrrrrrr.

Anyhoooo normal service will be resumed next week with the big celebration that is …POST 200!!! What is POST 200? Well come on back next week and you may just find out….Then again, you may not, sort of depends really.

Bomb Culture – Weevils on Fire, rolling down the Road