Tickety -Boo

Dame fate is a cruel and boisterous mistress. Just as the Good Ship BC was sailing merrily through the choppy waters of contentment a freak wave crashed onto our poop and decked the fur-lined beat master Mr Trousers with a great big watery splash.
Now confined to the studio with one leg braced and raised, the half-crazed loon has thrown himself into the final production for the long-awaited long player from Bomb Culture. With nary a gig in sight until the Celtic Blue Rock (see the last post for details) Berty has been feverishly planting beats, breaks and wibbly wobbly noises all over the tracks like some deranged Rear-Window –era James Stewart. Soon, this devilish concoction will spurt from Bert’s vibrating ovum and squelch into the public arena for the delectation of the masses, until that time I think we can only pray he doesn’t do himself too much harm….or chew the furniture and piss on the curtains.

As you may have guessed from the half-arsed babble about Bert’s leg, we are still stuck in limb-o (Get it? Limb-o, y’know like a leg…a limb…actually that works better when you say it rather than write it down). So with the absence of anything new to say, it’s time to take this opportunity to get to know Bomb Culture…So here, for your delectation are the answers to the question… ‘Bomb Culture, what makes you tick?’…

‘For me it has to be velcro’ says erstwhile valley-dwelling geetar fiddling maestro Steve-O Styles ‘It’s the most amazing stuff. When I was a kid I’d never seen anything like it, so as soon as I got to the bright lights of Cardiff, I made a bee-line for Woolworths to get me some. It was such a wonderful place, I never dreamed I would ever be standing in a Woolies, especially in somewhere as glamorous as Clifton Street. They sold everything! Toys, sweets, gardening gloves, nail files, secateurs, those plastic shower heads you attach to taps and of course, my beloved Velcro. As soon as I handed over my money I rushed home full of excitement. Of course I feel a bit silly now knowing that Velcro is in abundance, but I still get a thrill just looking at it, and of course, it tastes delicious. Yum Yum.’

Whirling dervish and resident saucepot Professor Krisps has a different take on the question. She said ‘Remember when you were a kid and you used to see birds flying into windows? Well you don’t see that so often these days do you? It’s a shame, because that really used to push my buttons.’

Hamster-cheeked lothario Mr Stevie J said simply ‘collecting the crusty bits of sleep you find in your eyes in the morning and crafting them into an effigy of the shadowy Mr Big from TV’s Porridge, The Genial Harry Grout. I have such fun using him to terrorise my Ronnie Barker figurine I’ve made from my pubes.’

Visual Slut, Mr Sul of The Darkside Gallery was forthright in his views on the subject
‘The love between a man and another man’ he said, in a voice that quivered with emotion, ‘nothing can make me tick quite like it. It’s not that I’m not gay or anything, it’s just that I really like watching fellas with other fellas. My missus loves it too and she’s not gay so there’s your proof.’

Berty was unavailable for comment but would have probably said something like ‘Porn.’

So there you are, another little insight into the complex world of BC…. If you fancy telling us what makes you tick then just click on the old comment box below and fire away, if you don’t then no worries we’ll just do it ourselves and pretend it was someone else. Everyone’s a winner!!

Bomb Culture - The stick in your rock, the sausage in you roll.